Sex and Marriage

22 Jun 2016

The shifting moods

“She’s always tired,” She’s not interested in me or sex anymore,” I feel like strangers under the same roof,” – sound familiar?

I think these are all very useful tell-tale signs of an unhappy wife based on the marriage going stale after the honeymoon period has come to an end.

I think it’s important to state that it’s quite normal that the relationship will move out of one phase, romantic love, and into another. The trick is not to allow it to get stale and stuck in the next phase, sometimes known as the disengagement phase. This is usually when couples are challenged to reconcile their differences, because we are different. It’s time to get real with each other.

This is easier said than done, because our ability to communicate in a mature and safe way in critical. Most couples find this extremely hard due to lack of adequate role modelling and poor communication patterns from our past, especially childhood. That’s why seeking professional help can be a very good decision. This isn’t a sign that you are incompatible. In fact, quite the opposite, but that you may just need some help to get you into the right kind of communication patterns.

Women need to hear from their men, especially words of kindness and appreciation, but also words of direction and wisdom. Couples need each other at a body, mind and spirit level, and communication happens in so many wonderful ways. If you are not building bridges through communication gentlemen, you are going to end up with unhappy wives.

The dance of marriage is something we can all learn and perfect. There are steps we should be taking to make our marriages amazing. This is a call to growth and can be seen as a preventative step and not wait until you are doing curative work.  Remember sex starts in the kitchen and ends in the bedroom. It’s how you connect and value one another throughout the day that will determine how much you enjoy one another at night.

Invest in your marriage and your marriage will reward you with a great return.

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